A Bunch of Thoughts

First things first…today is September 11th. A date that forever will be engrained into many Americans minds. You hear that date and you instantly think back to the events and where you were when you heard the news that our country was being attacked. I was a sophomore in college, driving to my first class that morning, when I heard what was happening to the World Trade Centers. It was during my second class that morning when we were informed classes were dismissed for the rest of the day.

While I do not know anyone personally who died on September 11, 2001 or anyone related to someone who passed that day due to the terrorism attacks, my heart always goes out to those people who lost their loved ones and had their lives changed forever.

In other news…

I haven’t posted anything in a little over two weeks. I didn’t intend to be absent that long; it just happened. A lot of things have happened over the last couple of weeks. I was in Illinois and then a few days after coming back to the farm, we had some of our Cedar Rapids/Marion family up to the farm for the day. It was great having them visit our neck of the woods.

We have moved our cows twice in the last couple of weeks. We rotationally graze our cattle between three pastures. If you’re not familiar with what rotational grazing is, it’s when livestock are moved every so many days in order for them to stay healthy and receive the nutrients they need from forage in the pasture. Once the cows have eaten the best part of the grass, we move them to a different location to allow that pasture to recover and heal and grow again.

When I first started dating my husband and I would join him for chores, I didn’t pay as much attention to what he was telling me in regards to how he raises his cattle. I was too busy taking pictures of the cattle. Now, I find myself asking him questions that I’m pretty sure he answered two years ago…LOL.

What it means to be a farmer…

I recently posted an Instastory on my Instagram page about our pumpkin patch, or the lack thereof. This year has been a rough year in so many ways, including growing pumpkins. We had very little rain and some mildew attacked our plants that didn’t attack last year. Last year’s pumpkin patch did so well and I had high hopes for all of the different varieties we planted this year. But, as Summer continued on, I started to really understand what it’s like to be a farmer when the weather doesn’t cooperate and you see your hard work essentially go down the drain. We won’t give up though. We’ll continue to keep working at perfecting our pumpkin patch.

What is it about 2020?

We’ve heard it said multiple times that this has been a terrible year. It’s not as if a small portion of this year has been bad. It seems every month leaves us asking the question “What’s next?”. Just when we think it couldn’t possibly get any worse, it does.

Not a lot really seemed to change for us here on the farm during the quarantine, other than not seeing a lot of family and friends. But, it was at the beginning of July when I found out I was losing my job. I was devastated and not expecting it at all. I cried out to God during the first two weeks after my job ended, asking Him to show me what He wants me to do and what my next step is. All I’ve ever known is working outside the home.

I have a large chalkboard in the kitchen and sometimes I decorate it for the seasons or holidays and other times I use it to write scripture. It was during that time of wondering what the next step is when Ryan came to me and asked if I would put Isaiah 41:10 on the chalkboard. “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God…” How fitting during this uncertain time. I was without a job when we got married and struggled finding one when I moved to Iowa and I couldn’t believe I was back in the same spot again. But, as much as I didn’t like it, I realized after a couple weeks that I had more peace about the situation than I had had before.

Then, the derecho hit Iowa and as I’ve mentioned in another post, my cousins in Cedar Rapids and Marion were affected with the loss of homes and vehicles. Area farmers lost crops and it was just sickening to see pictures of the aftermath. A week after that, the 16 year old step-daughter of one of those cousins found out she has ovarian cancer. We’ve been praying for that family member only to learn just last week that mine and Ryan’s brother-in-law was diagnosed with colon cancer.

I don’t know how people go through life without God. To walk through trials, no matter how big or small, without the help of our Heavenly Father is a foreign concept to me. The rest of Isaiah 41:10 says “…I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” No one else can strengthen us, help us and uphold us the way God can. This verse has been my daily reminder that I need Him. I can’t do anything without Him and He will continue to be with Ryan and me during the good times and the bad.